Sustainable Williston has received a grant from the Eccentric Billionaire Foundation to plan and execute a tidal electricity generation facility in Lake Iroquois. The new tidal generation plant, which will take 120 years to build, will be about four times the size of the existing lake.

artist’s conception of tidal power facility

“We anticipate this may limit fishing, swimming, and some recreational activities,” said unofficial SW spokesperson Luc Reid, “but on the up side, with global warming we’ll soon be able to swim and fish in our back yards!”

As a follow-up project, SW is devising plans for a town-wide heating system based on harnessing the frustration of the American people at the inability of Congress to do absolutely anything. “American frustration is an incredible source of untapped power,” said Reid. “The heat generated by a single day of congressional dilly-dallying could warm the toes of 18,000,000 children, or fry a free-range egg omelette reaching from here to the moon.”